Living with kids and dogs is not always easy,
but the rewards are worth it!

Kids and dogs can be best friends ... if a wise parent sets them up for success.

Being the parent with kids and dogs can be challenging. Good kids and good dogs will have miscommunications every day.

But there are many simple strategies you can use to make your life less chaotic, more cooperative, and lots more fun.

A good trainer can help a lot! Check the links below to find a qualified trainer near you.

Books & Resources

#1
Living with Kids and Dogs book

Living with Kids and Dogs

A Parent's Guide to Controlling the Chaos

The award-winning parents' guide to managing kid-and-dog interactions from birth through teens. At last! A kids-and-dogs book for parents written by someone who "gets it."


Living with Kids & Dogs . . . Without Losing Your Mind provides busy parents with simple, realistic advice to help ensure that the relationship between their kids and their dog is safe and enjoyable for all.

#2
Puppy Training for Kids Colleen Pelar

Puppy Training for Kids

Kids and dogs are naturally attracted to each other, and this book introduces boys and girls to the responsibilities and the joys of puppy care, training, and companionship.

Young readers will find advice on exercise, selecting chew toys, clicker training, teaching the puppy to meet both human and animal friends, and much more. Sidebar features advise parents on guiding their children toward responsible dog ownership. The book is filled with engaging and instructive color photos.

#3
Kids and Dogs Professionals Guide Colleen Pelar

Kids and Dogs

A Professional's Guide to Helping Families

Kids and dogs have misunderstandings every day. Most aren't serious, but some can be downright dangerous. If a bite occurs, a child could be injured and the dog could lose his home--or his life!

Trainers, take the guesswork out of kid-and-dog interactions using these tips, tricks, and techniques. On every page, you'll find things that make your work with dogs--and their families--easier!

#4
Dogs Demystified Family Dog Cheat Sheet

Family Dog Cheat Sheet

The most important things you need to know about dogs distilled into 16 full-color laminated pages. Includes three straightforward ways of categorizing behavior that take the guesswork out of understanding dogs and seven easy-to-identify stress signals that point out when a dog needs your help.

#5
Dogs Demystified canine stress signals bookmarks

Canine Stress Signal Bookmarks

100 colorful bookmarks showing photos of common canine stress signals: lip licking, turning away, mouth closed, half-moon eye, yawning, and shaking off. You'll love having these bookmarks to teach your clients about dog behavior.

Supervision is only as good as your knowledge of body language and behavior

Everyone says that kids and dogs should never be left unsupervised. That's good advice as far as it goes. But supervision is only effective when you know what to look for and when to intervene.

Most people don't. Even people who have lived with dogs their whole lives frequently miss the meaning of dog body language.

Fortunately it's not hard to learn. To truly supervise kids and dogs, you need to know about kid behavior (most parents have this one down pat) and dog behavior (that's where I can help).

Once you know how to read what you are seeing, you'll be able to set your kids and dogs up for a happy, healthy, safe, and fun relationship.

Let's get started ...

It's helpful to think of behavior as a continuum. No one is happy all the time, not even the Dalai Lama or the giddiest golden retriever. For each of us, there will be good moments and bad moments.

Dalai Lama
golden retriever puppy

Behavior deteriorates under stress. 

We all experience stress; none of us is at our best all the time.

Your job is to pay attention to everyone's emotional state--your child's, your dog's, and your own--so that you can play an active role in setting everyone up for success. That's not always easy, but it is doable.

To make things simple, I use a green, yellow, and red traffic light analogy. Look at your child's behavior and at your dog's behavior and compare them to the descriptions below.

Their color codes may not match. When you see anything other than green, that's your signal to take action.

Green enjoyment

Things are going well. Continue supervising, but there's no need to intervene at this moment.

Yellow tolerance

Things are a bit tense. See what you can do to improve the situation. You may need to end the interaction.

Red Enough Already

Intervene immediately. Give everyone some time to relax and unwind before interacting again.

❤️ Happy Home Tip ❤️

A common mistake parents make is looking only at their child's intentions and not the result. For example, child hugging a dog is intending to be kind, but often the dog will feel trapped or anxious. Good interactions are enjoyed by all participants.

The yellow zone, Tolerance, is where wise parental guidance really improves kids and dogs' relationships!

There are many different signals dogs use to communicate. I particularly like these six because they are common and easy for kids and adults to recognize.

When you notice your dog using stress signals more frequently, take that as a call to action.

Ask yourself, "What can I do to make this interaction better or shorter?"

Those really are the only two choices.

LIP LICKING

TURNING AWAY

HALF-MOON EYE

MOUTH CLOSED

SHAKING OFF

YAWNING

Background: This is my dog, Edzo. My son was standing on a coffee table and recording the view from above. Edzo was confused. Notice how many times he checks in.

Teach your dog that you are paying attention. When there's a stressful situation and your dog looks toward you, consider it a polite request for assistance.

Do something to make the situation better ... or shorter.

Behavior in Action

Test yourself. How many of the six common stress signals do you see in this 45-second video?

What you need to know about the Red Zone


Growling, snarling, nipping, snapping, and biting are all red zone behaviors.

But ...

So are all forms of escape and avoidance. Pay attention when your dog moves away from your child.

Whether politely or rudely expressed, the red zone is when the dog wants the interaction to end.

Red zone behaviors often mean we missed the earlier signs. They are a failure of management and supervision.


When you see red zone signals, intervene immediately and give everyone some down time.

Do not punish red zone behaviors. They are the symptoms of the problem, not the problem itself.


Make a plan for preventing similar stressful situations in the future. What can you do differently?


Not sure what to do? Find a good dog trainer to help. 

Find a Dog Trainer

You'll be amazed by how much a qualified, positive-reinforcement dog trainer can help.


Because all Family Paws Parent Educators have been specifically trained to work with kids and dogs, I encourage you to check this list first.


If you can't find a Family Paws trainer near you, check the directories on the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants, the Certification Council for Professional Dog Trainers, and the Pet Professional Guild. There are many talented, positive-reinforcement trainers eager to help you.

Colleen Pelar, CDBC, CPDT-KA

As a dog trainer, I loved helping kids and dogs develop strong, respectful relationships. Kids can be amazing dog trainers--often better than their parents! In my completely biased and strong-held opinion, having a dog makes a family's life better!


I am a firm believer in setting everyone up for success by using training, communication, and management techniques that minimize stress and help put everyone on the same team. Fear- and force-based methods are absolutely inappropriate for training family dogs.


After 28 years as a dog trainer, my focus has shifted to providing resilience support and education to pet professionals. I am no longer training dogs.


  • If you're looking for a trainer to help with your dog, check the resources above.
  • If you are a pet pro who'd like to learn how to continue making a difference without burning yourself out, come visit me at ColleenPelar.com. I look forward to connecting!